from now on

i will pay more attention to my brothers opinion on guys i bring home. because 9.99 times out of 10, hes been pretty damn spot-on.

the rede (an it harm none)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZQiDrD7L5k

I've been blessed with many lovers and I'd grant the same you
Though I suppose I'd skip a broken heart or two
I confess that I am troubled by that pious vocal few
When they cross the line and tell us what to do

Ah But life's too short for all this worry - I offer myself to you whole
Life's too long for lies to carry any more weight in this world

And it harm none, do what ye will
As the circle has bound us, bound we are still
Though the bottle be empty, may the cup remain filled
And it harm none, do what ye will

I will call the four directions, I will cast a circle here
I will put my feet upon the holy ground
In the shadow there reflected I will find and face my fear
And we all know there is fear a'plenty round

Ah But life's too short for all this worry - I offer myself to you whole
Life's too long for lies to carry any more weight in this world

An it harm none, do what ye will
As the circle has bound us, bound we are still
Though the bottle be empty, may the cup remain filled
And it harm none, do what ye will

Every act of love and pleasure is a prayer along the way
With everything between the living Earth and Sky
When it's all of life we treasure through the endless spinning days
In our actions you will know us by and by

Ah But life's too short for all this worry - I offer myself to you whole
Life's too long for lies to carry any more weight in this world

And it harm none, do what ye will
As the circle has bound us, bound we are still
Though the bottle be empty, may the cup remain filled
And it harm none, do what ye will

Snakecharmer

As the gods began one world, and man another,
So the snakecharmer begins a snaky sphere
With moon-eye, mouth-pipe. He pipes. Pipes green. Pipes water.

Pipes water green until green waters waver
With reedy lengths and necks and undulatings.
And as his notes twine green, the green river

Shapes its images around his songs.
He pipes a place to stand on, but no rocks,
No floor: a wave of flickering grass tongues

Supports his foot. He pipes a world of snakes,
Of sways and coilings, from the snake-rooted bottom
Of his mind. And now nothing but snakes

Is visible. The snake-scales have become
Leaf, become eyelid; snake-bodies, bough, breast
Of tree and human. And he within this snakedom

Rules the writhings which make manifest
His snakehood and his might with pliant tunes
From his thin pipe. Out of this green nest

As out of Eden's navel twist the lines
Of snaky generations: let there be snakes!
And snakes there were, are, will be--till yawns

Consume this piper and he tires of music
And pipes the world back to the simple fabric
Of snake-warp, snake-weft. Pipes the cloth of snakes

To a melting of green waters, till no snake
Shows its head, and those green waters back to
Water, to green, to nothing like a snake.
Puts up his pipe, and lids his moony eye.

~ Sylvia Plath

crack dream

so i was at an atm and this guy comes up behind me and pulls me to the ground. im screaming and telling him he can take my money just let me go and he says its not your money i want so then i start screaming because hes gonna rape me and luckily a cop pulls up and the guy runs. i go home crying and mom says she has a surprise for me to cheer me up. she takes me to go meet nsync, and i mustve met them before because they all recognize me. in this dream nsync consists of justin lance jc and a girl who looks like a cross between britney spears and topanga from boy meets world. i go say hi to the girl first and she gives me a hug and she must be psychic or something because she knows what happened at the atm and gives me a super long hug and tells me everything is okay. so then im at some fancy hotel where someone is hosting a prom for all the exchange students who were on the trip i chaperoned. i put on a random yellow dress and people start calling me belle. then i realize i have no money for a ticket so i go back to the atm and the same guy is there and he starts chasing me and luckily another cop is there. so i run back to the hotel all upset and i run into rupert grint in the hallway. i guess the harry potter cast is all vacationing together and staying at this hotel lol. so i run into him and im so upset i just fling myself at him and cry and he holds me and comforts me and whatnot. so then we start kissing, and eventually he says we should go somewhere but i tell him we cant go back to my room because my roommate is there so we go back to his because he doesnt think anyone is in his room but daniel radcliffe is there watching tv and rupert tries to hint at him to leave but he doesnt get the hint so rupert and i just sit on the bed together.

little pleasures

dark chocolate
listening to the rain as you fall asleep
a good book
a cup of tea
jeni's ylang ylang honeycomb ice cream
bellydancing whenever and wherever
a glass of wine
making a candle
finishing a scrapbook page
laying in bed on a lazy morning snuggled up in a fluffy white comforter
new jewelry
barnes&noble
harry potter
traveling
painting your nails
new shoes
laughing with good friends
a purring cat asleep in your lap
long hot showers
rays of sunshine on your face
standing on the beach late at night with the wind whipping through your hair, watching a thunderstorm far out at sea

wanderlust

wan·der·lust (wndr-lst) n. A very strong or irresistible impulse to travel.

for as long as i can remember, i have wanted to travel the world. unfortunately, i am very broke lol. so whenever a travel opportunity at little to no cost pops up, i jump at it.

my friends parents have their own travel agency, and every year they do trips with rotary exchange students. last december i chaperoned the disney trip, and i just got back from chaperoning the eastern trip. we went to washington dc, manhattan, boston, hershey, and gettysburg. it was an amazing trip. it makes me wish i had known about the rotary exchange program in high school; seeing how much fun the kids have and the friendships they form makes me so jealous. yes i get to go on the trips, but being a chaperon is different than experiencing these trips as an exchange student. i would have loved to be an exchange student in high school. if my kids ever have the opportunity to do so, i will do everything in my power to ensure they can go. anyway.

so now ive been bitten by the travel bug and im restless just sitting at home. luckily, i have at least 3 more trips planned for this year :) my parents are thinking of taking a family vacation and going to weeki wachee river in florida this summer. its on the gulf coast of florida. there are manatees that swim in the river, and from looking at pictures of the area it seems like it will be such a relaxing vacation. plus my aunt lives in orlando, so i think wed take our grandparents on vacation with us and all go visit her :) she has MS and its very hard for her to travel because of it, and my grandparents are getting older so its harder for them to travel too, so this would be a really good thing.

my mom and grandma take a girls trip every year up to massachusetts/new hampshire to visit with family (my mom was born in MA) and this year i have been invited to go with them. i am SO EXCITED!! ive wanted to do this trip with them for years :)

i am also chaperoning the disney trip again this december, and im so excited about it :)

we are also talking about going up to vermont in may to visit our friend at grad school. for as often as ive been to new england, ive never been to vermont, so im excited about that :)

also - and this is the most exciting thing - i will probably be going to france and england sometime in the next couple years! lizs dad wants to take her and her friends (which would be me, christine and jackie) on a trip because he did the same for her sister a few years ago. im not sure when its going to happen, but he is saying that it WILL happen. i seriously cried when he brought it up; paris is a dream of mine. and to be there with three of my bestest friends? amazing ♥

well...

mitch and i have decided to go ahead and get a divorce. well, dissolution really, if that makes any difference. weve decided its for the best; hes unhappy and im unhappy and he acknowledges that i deserve better, i deserve to be happy. and honestly, i think my parents were right (*cringes*) and that we got married too fast. i mean i really havent been single since i was 17; i was in a 2-yr relationship then a month after that ended i went into another 2.5-yr relationship and then a couple months after that ended i started dating mitch. so i honestly dont know who i am on my own, without the identity of being a married woman. so this is whats best for us. and its going to be amicable, neither of us has any animosity towards the other. we actually just sat down and talked about it and decided who would keep what furniture-wise and we decided what to do about finances. as for the cats, im going to keep them but theyre going to stay with him until i can find a place of my own; ill be moving in with my parents for awhile to be able to save up money and they already have 2 cats so i wouldnt be able to bring mine there. overall im feeling as good about this as i can, and i honestly think ill be okay. i mean yea it sucks balls, i still love him, but theres no point in fighting for something that only one person wants. and my friends aunt is an attorney and has offered to help me out at a deeply discounted rate so that helps. so...yea. thats the situation.