Wednesday, March 24, 2010

we signed a lease!

mitch and i went to look at apartments yesterday, and we signed a lease with the Continent Village. we have a 2nd floor 2bed2bath apartment, with a balcony and a walk-in closet and a DISHWASHER!!! its a little bit ridiculous how excited i am about this damn dishwasher lol. we move in hopefully on april 12th, as long as the army doesnt decide to fuck us one last time.

heres some pix, this place is just too cute!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010


packing boxes and cleaning supplies and non-perishables and toiletries and clothes and kitty litter...homemade spaghetti sauce and homemade natural cleaning supplies and yeast and and sales and insurance and doctors appointments and prescription and printer and laptop and desktop and phone chargers and ipod and cds and wires, so many random wires why the hell do we have so many random wires and cables?!...candles and vases and books and scrapbook supplies.....omfg so much on my mind there is NO WAY i will be able to get to sleep any time soon!!!

tylenol pmmmmm...

"the highwayman" by alfred noyes



THE wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding—
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.


He'd a French cocked-hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle: his boots were up to the thigh!
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.


Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,
And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.


And dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's red-lipped daughter,
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say—


"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize to-night,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."


He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonliglt, and galloped away to the West.



He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;
And out o' the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching—
King George's men came matching, up to the old inn-door.


They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through her casement, the road that he would ride.


They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
They had bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"Now, keep good watch!" and they kissed her.
She heard the dead man say—
Look for me by moonlight;

Watch for me by moonlight;

I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!


She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like years,
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!


The tip of one finger touched it; she strove no more for the rest!
Up, she stood up to attention, with the barrel beneath her breast,
She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;
For the road lay bare in the moonlight;
Blank and bare in the moonlight;
And the blood of her veins in the moonlight throbbed to her love's refrain .


Tlot-tlot; tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs ringing clear;
Tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding,
Riding, riding!
The red-coats looked to their priming! She stood up, straight and still!


Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot, in the echoing night!
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
Her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him—with her death.


He turned; he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood
Bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it, his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.


Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
When they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.

* * * * * *


And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding—
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.


Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard;
He taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred;
He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

blessed ostara!

Long ago, the Germanic goddess Ostara (or Eostre) was honored in the month of April each year with festivals honoring rebirth and renewal. Nowadays we recognize her festival as Easter. The name Easter evolved from the Goddess's name, which means "movement towards the rising sun" or "east." Ostara is the living symbol for air and the life force of spring. East is representative of the element of air and our mental powers. Air is about new beginnings and allowing our spirit to soar. Ostara is still one of the most powerful goddesses today; so much so that she has made herself right at home within Christianity and modern medicine, and egg decorating is still a fine art in Germany!
Easter, like most pagan festivals, evolved into a Christian holiday, focusing not on the Goddess but on the Biblical Jesus and his "rebirth" or "resurrection." Even so, Easter somehow managed to retain the fertility symbols and the Easter basket. Ostara, the Goddess of fertility, has managed to infiltrate our society with the well-known "rabbit test" to find out if a woman is pregnant and also the hormone estrogen, both said to be named for her. Ostara is the perfect doddess to call on when dealing with women's health issues, especially when related to the reproductive system.
Ostara is the goddess of joy, new beginnings and fertility. That is where Easter eggs and Easter bunnies come in. Eggs are an obvious symbol for fertility and the rabbit (Ostara's power animal) has a rather well-known propensity for reproducing. Ostara presides over our personal renewal and fertility issues. She is the goddess of dawn and new beginnings.
Eggs were (and still are) dyed or painted bright colors as an offering to Ostara. Dawn is the best time to invoke her. In days of old, fires were lit at dawn in her honor.


Friday, March 19, 2010

once a Braggette, always a Braggette!

i cant wait to move back to ohio, i miss my family and friends like crazy! but im really gonna miss the amazing friends i made here too :( yes, our experience with the army hasnt exactly been stellar, but if it werent for the army i never wouldve met these amazing women whom i love dearly ♥ phoenix and kelsey and dominique, i love you guys and i will miss you all so much!! ♥


Thursday, March 18, 2010

prop 8: the musical

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

an apache blessing

may the sun bring you new energy by day
may the moon softly restore you by night
may the rain wash away your worries
may the breeze blow new strength into your being
may you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life

top o' the mornin' to ye!

happy st paddys day! today, everyone is irish :)
(and yes even though st patricks day celebrates a man who nearly eradicated paganism from ireland, my husband is irish and therefore i choose to celebrate the irish heritage rather than the religious persecution :)


Tuesday, March 16, 2010


i dont know why i love the show 16&pregnant so much. 99% of the baby daddies piss me the hell off. fuckin deadbeats.

r-pattz and k-stew need to stop acting and stop being so damn famous. they suck. they have zero talent. and r-pattz has two looks only: pissed off, and constipated.

i absolutely cannot wait to move home. just a few more weeks and well be back in ohio for good. i miss my family, i miss my friends, i miss having fun places to go and just sit. and i miss having access to a GOOD library. the library here blows >.<

spring is weird for me. its like i dont exactly know what to do with myself. the way things are changing, winter is melting away and you can almost smell the makes me want to run around in a field or something. yes i know that sounds hippy lol. seriously though, i dont know how to describe it. i want to get outside, go to a park and lay in the grass, go for a walk along a river...its almost like my body wants to be a part of nature, and theres no real way to accomplish that. sometimes at night ill lay in bed unable to sleep because i feel like crawling out of my skin. its not exactly a pleasant feeling either lol.
plus i feel like i should be hanging out with the old youth group crowd, even though i dont really talk to them anymore. the only reason i can think of is that once i graduated high school and had nothing to do during the spring, michelle and i hung out with that crowd pretty much all day every day. i mean before 2006, spring to me consisted of spending spring break hanging around the house because we didnt really go anywhere. so in my mind the only thing to do is hang out with the youth group, because thats the only precedent i have. time to build new memories lol.

i am all about middle eastern music right now. pretty much because im obsessed with bellydance lol. i listen to it while going for walks, while doing the dishes, while doing laundry (and then i unconsciously start shimmying while im folding clothes in the laundromat and that gets me several funny looks lol). i just love it. if i try to listen to old favorites like fall out boy or something i get bored rather quickly. its amazing to me how much my mood - and the time of year - affects my musical interests. in the spring i tend to listen to either m-flo, or indie pop like imogen heap and feist. in the summer its upbeat happy top 40 music all the way. in the fall i tend to play asobi seksu on repeat, and my winter playlist consists of gwen stefani, the sundays, M.I.A. and daft punk (hows that for an eclectic combination?) but yea right now im all about bellydance music :)

like i said im pretty much obsessed with bellydance. i cant wait to find an instructor in columbus and start taking classes again. i love dancing, i always have. but bellydance is different. when i bellydance i feel like im doing something that im truly meant to be doing. it just feels right, it feels good. i feel like im truly discovering who i am, who im meant to be. when i dance i feel free. and i feel like thats something ive been searching for for a long time. so phoenix, i owe you big-time for helping me shimmy my way in to the bellydance world :)

people need to stop turning nicholas sparks books into movies. theyre sappy and cheesy and just generally not good. especially when miley cyrus is playing a lead role >.<

sometimes i wonder how i turned out the way i did, what with my background and upbringing. i was raised in a conservative church-going family, and i am neither conservative nor church-going. i have zero problem with gay marriage, body modification, "going green," etc. and i identify as pagan. although i havent completely made up my mind as to whether or not to completely leave the church...there are still some aspects i love and have great respect for. but overall i just agree more with pagan ideas. even though i dont have an altar set up and ive never cast a circle...i dont really actually do anything. one because im still learning about paganism, and two because sometimes i really feel like im more spiritual than religious, if that makes any sense. probably not but i dont know a better way to describe it lol. overall, i just believe in tolerance and love. i dont understand why people cant just live and let live. why cant people just see that their chosen religion is one path among many to a higher power? i just cant fathom the idea that one specific religion is the one and only way and "the Truth" and everything. and i certainly dont agree with proselytizing...the idea of talking someone into changing their faith is just beyond me. like i said, live and let live.

sorry for the rambling in a random mood.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

so many thoughts and emotions...

and i cant for the life of me even begin to put them into words. i hate that feeling.

nothing bad, spring is just a strange time for me. lots of old feelings and memories are dredged up and i feel like i should be doing something, anything, other than what i am doing. this has been happening every spring for the past several years.
i hate feeling like im cheating myself out of something big.

Friday, March 12, 2010

epic win


soundtrack to your movie

Start your favorite playlist, set it on random and assign the songs one after the other to the following questions. Dont skip! To get the Movie Title in the end, just take the next song after the End Credits' song and replace one word of it with your own name!

Opening Scene: dear angel - april sixth
Main Theme: sometimes the sun - lashes
Someone dies to: fix you - coldplay
Club/Bar Scene: somebody told me - the killers
Dance Scene: prince ali - aladdin ^_^
Taxi Driving Scene: the way you move - outkast
Empty Apartment Scene: a million ways - ok go
Love Scene: heres where the story ends - the sundays
Hero Theme: helicopter - bloc party
Night Scene: entertaining angels - newsboys
The Villain appears to: youth - matisyahu
The Big End Fight: sugar were goin down - fall out boy
The Villain dies: mouth like a magazine - showbread
Goodbye Sequence: let go - frou frou
End Credits: pepper - butthole surfers

Your Movie is going to be called: "bad brenda" ("bad man" missy elliot feat. vybz cartel & M.I.A.)

Thursday, March 11, 2010


school board cancels prom rather than allowing same-sex couple

wow, REALLY mature, school board!! WOW.

why cant people realize that people are people regardless of age/race/orientation/etc? why cant people learn a little tolerance and acceptance? dont they realize that the last time our nation denied right to a group of people there were lynchings and segregation and Jim Crow laws? it makes me so unbelievably angry to see people - PEOPLE, like you and me - being treated like this! its disgusting!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Sunday, March 7, 2010

well there goes my good mood

okay so months and months ago i had purchased a yearlong membership to cost $48, was a one-time charge. a few months after purchasing said membership, somehow i was locked out of my account. okay no big deal, by that time i didnt really check it anymore. but i kept getting emails from the site saying i had a new message or a friend request or something. so i got one of those emails a couple weeks ago and this time i emailed back asking what the deal was, since i thought my account had been cancelled or whatever. they emailed me a new password and i was able to log in again.
well, i just checked out bank account and there was a $48 charge from suicide girls. i have no idea what this charge is for, and im pretty mad about them charging our account without my permission, so i emailed them about it. the only thing i could think of was that they automatically renewed my account for another year. which im still not happy about. so im looking around the site trying to figure it out.....and come to find out they charge the same price to REACTIVATE AN ACCOUNT as they do to sign up in the first place! when they emailed me back there was ZERO mention of a reactivation fee!! i am pissed as hell, especially since its on the site and i shouldve seen it. mitch thinks that since its on the site that we wont get a refund (i emailed them and told them to refund my account and cancel my membership if necessary) but i am livid; i mean yes its on the site but they shouldve notified me when they emailed me that there would be a charge!! and now because of this we can barely afford gas, and payday isnt exactly super close!

omfg can we just move home now please?!

im SO over waiting for the army to pull their shit together and get things moving so mitch and i can move home. although i know theres still snow on the ground in ohio, so i guess this is a blessing in disguise lol. today in fayetteville its 62 and sunny, and i am thoroughly enjoying it :) i plan on sitting outside and reading, maybe going for a walk. although what i REALLY want right now is for it to be summer (or at least late spring). and i want to be back in ohio, enjoying the columbus zoo (i miss it so much!) and a double scoop of black raspberry chip in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone from graeters. words cannot express how much i miss graeters ice cream, there is just nothing to compare to it. although i think my thighs are pretty happy that i dont work there anymore lol XD weirdly though, i miss that job. i mean if mike werent still the manager there, id totally beg for my job back. i miss the people :)

i mean just look at this deliciousness.....omfg omnomnom