Friday, May 14, 2010

irrational freakout time...

so i was talking to one of my co-workers, E, yesterday. she was asking me if my ex's name started with a J, and i said yea his name is J****, why? she told me she was talking to a friend a few days ago and her friend was like "how do you know brenda?" i guess she saw it on facebook or something. but anyway yea this girl is dating J, or as i will refer to him from here on out, assface. so yea, Es friend is dating assface. that in itself doesnt bother me, im not petty enough to be jealous or whatever that hes in a relationship. but it gets better. i guess this girl awhile ago was dating their professor? (she and assface met in class) and she got pregnant. the prof told her to have an abortion but she refused, and i guess like the whole class turned on her, saying she wanted to make him lose his job or whatever. so i guess assface stuck by her side through all of it, through the entire pregnancy, now theyre dating. the baby is a month old and now i guess assface is thinking about adopting it?! since he was there with her through the entire thing.

first of all, i hope and pray that he treats her a hell of a lot better than he did me. although with his track record, i highly doubt it.

second of all, i know i have zero say in it, but under NO circumstances do i want him to adopt that child!! once he gets bored with this girl, hell leave her and where will that leave the child?! that baby deserves better. i mean i know it all sounds honorable and noble on the surface, but believe me when i say there is nothing honorable about that "man."

third.....i dont like that hes been telling her about me. i dont like it at all. i mean i understand, people tell their significant others about their past relationships. but i dont even want him to speak my name. i mean how else would she have known who i was when she saw me on Es facebook? hes told her about me, and i do not like it. but im willing to bet he hasnt told her the truth about our relationship. how many girls would stay with a guy if he told her he had sexually abused his exgirlfriend? she deserves to know the truth.

and to top it all off, E told me that the girl looks a lot like me. i think that, more than anything, gets to me. it disturbs me, actually, and im not entirely sure why. it just creeps me out that his new girlfriend looks like me.

i found her on trying to talk myself out of sending her a message and telling her the truth about our relationship; i know thats probably just gonna open up a whole can of drama llama. she deserves to know the truth. im just so worried for her, i dont want her to suffer like i did. and im worried for her baby too, being around him. the whole thing makes me sick. i want to tell her to run, and to run fast and not look back.